Mickey MacConnell
Singer / Songwriter



Only Our Rivers




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Dear old Enid Blyton – I thought of you today

As I helped my eldest kid to put her books and toys away

For there upon the bookshelf, I could scarce believe my eyes

Were dozens of adventure books about your Famous Five

And it swept me backwards through the years for I had read them too

And marvelled at their bravery and deeds of derring-do

But nowadays it’s just as well that you’re not still alive

To see what time and life has done unto your Famous Five.


Young Julian was the leader with a good staunch British heart

He got a scholarship to Oxford where he studied mighty hard

He took law and criminology until that fateful day

When he suddenly discovered that crime does really pay

So he opened massage parlours up in Bradford, York and Leeds

Where fat old men and Swedish girls do foul and filthy deeds

Now he peddles dirty movies – plastic macs and whips and chains

Oh Enid love, I’m not surprised you hang your head in shame.


Georgina hated being a girl and that’s why, I suppose

She told everyone to call her George and dressed up in men’s clothes

But in our youthful innocence in those far-off distant days

We never realised that young Georgina was a Gay

She came out of the closet when she met a girl named Jill

Who is now her live-in lover in a flat in Notting Hill

And she says she’s very happy – says it’s good to be alive

The odds seemed much against it when she joined the Famous Five.


Young Anne, she was the quiet one who lived in mortal dread

Of smugglers and jewel thieves and foreigners with beards

Her nerves got taut as fiddle strings with all the stress and strain

So they put her in a madhouse for the criminally insane.

And Tim, the faithful terrier, at last ran out of luck

When he bared his teeth and argued with a forty-three ton truck

Poor Tim found out the hard way what is meant by overdrive

Farewell four-footed, furry, flattened phantom Famous Five.


Young Dick could never settle after all the things he’d seen

He was into booze and Evostick before he was thirteen

He had been dried out three dozen times when he reached twenty-two

So he went off to South Africa like all the losers do

And I’m not surprised he’s happy there – in fact it is his right

Don’t all the bad guys dress in black and the good guys dress in white?

If he stays away from black women and white rum he might survive

In that spirit of peace and freedom, much beloved by Famous Five


For the Five stood for integrity, the Five fought the good fight

When all the bad guys dressed in black and the good guys dressed in white

So nowadays dear Enid, it’s just as well you’re not alive

To see what time and live has done unto your Famous Five.



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